Hopelessly Romantic? or Romantically Hopeless?

I don't understand romance. Don't get me wrong, I really want to be a romantic guy, I think that I may be romantically challenged or something. When Kathy and I began dating, we would sit for hours in the gazebos on the Belmont Campus and talk. If we ran out of stuff to talk about, one of us would usually say "Ask me a question?" We would ask questions about anything and everything...It was a cool way to really get to know one another.

We've not done that in a while, but one evening as we were getting ready for bed, Kathy says "Ask me a question?". My response was...."What was the most romantic gift that I've given you?" Now here's my thinking...we've been married almost 20 years and every other year or so, we take a trip (sans children) for our anniversary. One year we rented a Mustang and drove to Atlanta for a Tim McGraw/Faith Hill concert and a Braves game. Another year we stayed in the Hermitage Hotel in Nashville..had a nice dinner and then went to see "STOMP!" at the Performing Arts Center. There have been many other gifts and trips. Surely her answer would be one of those. So, what was her answer?

"Skittles"

What?!?!?!?!!? Skittles?

See, one year for Christmas I found this crystal candy dish. It has since been broken by a child or nephew or niece, but it was beautiful. Since you can't give an empty candy dish, I went to the local grocery to get her favorite candy Skittles. The thing that made it a romantic gift, however, was that I took out the green ones. Kathy loves Skittles, but she does not like the green ones. That was the key.

By posting this here, I'm hoping to increase the romantic intelligence of some poor sap that is about to spend $4,000 on a cruise. You might be better off making a trip to the local candy store.

I thought I'd share....

I was sitting here working on a Saturday and wanted to listen to some new music. I saw a top rated youtube video of a guitar player named Andy McKee, I thought that this was gorgeous. Just thought I'd share....



And if you like that one....you gotta see this

Not another blog!!!!!

Yes, I've started another blog. Cedar City Group Blog is a blog for technical people (commonly referred to as 'geeks') and business owners (people who hire 'geeks'). I plan to keep the constant transformation blog on more of a personal level.

I've just finished setting it up and making my first post there. Please subscribe if you have any interest at all. I do plan to post some information that is relevant to blogging.

Cruel and unusual punishment....

I heard a news story this morning that the govenor had issued a moratorium on executions in Tennesse due to a Federal Judge's Ruling.

My first thought was "I wonder what the Romans in Jesus' time would have said about that?". My understanding of the Roman philosphy of the death penalty was...

Make the execution....

• as painful as possible


• as public as possible


• as humiliating as possible

There have been many details given about crucifixion, I did a quick search and found this.

The most amazing thing to me about Jesus sacrifice though is....

• He knew all along what was coming


• He knew he would be all alone, (even without God)


• He could have stopped it at any time

But he didn't.....thank God.

There really are two 6 o'clocks every day....

I am involved with a humanitarian organization that is trying to help folks living in Nigeria. I'll be writing more about that later on, but yesterday, we had some fun trying to set up a meeting to discuss how the organization could reach out to more people. There were 4 of us trying to coordinate a time and place to meet. Two of us have real live 8-5 type jobs in Nashville.

After all was said and done, it took approximately 34 emails to coordinate the meeting. Greg Smith is also on the board. He has a quirky sense of humor and is obviously NOT an early riser. We discussed meeting at 6am at Panera Bread because they have wireless internet access. Greg's responses were hilarious, I hope that he doesn't mind me sharing them here:

"There are two 6 o'clocks in a day?"
"Why are we worrying about internet access at 6am? They don't turn the internet on until around 7:30"

and finally, once he arrived at the meeting in the dark...

"So does the sun just come on all of a sudden?"

Funny funny guy....

I am an early riser, you might notice some of the posting times on this blog are quite early. Are you an early riser? Night owl? and the big question....are you a morning person? or not?

Proud of my decade....

What decade do you identify with? I've told people that the decade that you identify with is the one in which you graduated high school. Looking back, I don't think that's true. I graduated high school in the early 80's, but really, I consider myself a child of the 70's. There is nothing that takes me back to that time in my life like music. The radio station that I usually listen to is 95.5 'The Wolf' in Nashville. They are considered to be a country station, but they know their market, they usually mix in a few hits from the 70's. Lately, they've been playing Chevy Van which makes me feel 13 again.

Anyway, I was cruising around on the internet and stumbled onto this list of best selling albums. I was amazed at how many of the albums were released in 'my decade'. Nine of the top 20 were from the 70's. If you let me include 1968 through 1980, then my decade gets credit for 14 of the top 25.

Ok, we have to take credit for leisure suits, stacks, disco, and Watergate, but we made some pretty good music.

Small Town Funnies

First, let me give you a little background. I grew up close to downtown Nashville. I don't think you could call it the inner city, but I could get there on a bicycle. For the last 15 years (almost) I've lived in Lebanon which is about 35 miles east of Nashville. It would be called a 'small town' though that is changing.

Before we moved, I started working in the IT department for Cracker Barrel Old Country Store and knew many people in town. When we moved here, I was uncomfortable. No matter where I went, I kept running into people that I knew. In Nashville, you rarely run into people that you know in public.

My first real dose of small town life was when I was trying to call the local insurance agent to move my policies from the agency in Nashville to the one in Lebanon. I looked the number up in the phone book, but dialed the wrong number. The conversation went like this:

Donnie: May I speak to so-and-so?
Helpful Lady Oh, you've dialed the wrong number, he works at the Farm Bureau, their number is..
Donnie: (dumbfounded silence)

The idea that a random wrong number would know who I was asking for and be so helpful as to give me the number was completely foreign to me. I mention this because I had a similar conversation yesterday. I was calling to check on my truck (It was a good deal, I promise). I dialed the number for the repair shop (so I thought) and a lady's voice answers...

Helpful Lady: Hello.
Donnie: I'm sorry, I believe that I dialed the wrong number.
Helpful Lady: Yes, you did Donnie.
Donnie: (dumbfounded silence, I'm good at that)
Helpful Lady: This is Tara.

I had called my good friend Tara Beard whose phone number was strikingly similar to the repair shop's number.

I love this place.

Beauty in Brokenness....

Here is a clip from something I read this morning..

Somehow, uniquely, God desires to use those difficult moments of our lives to bring forth something extraordinarily beautiful. Even the natural creation attests to this truth. In fall, we marvel at the gorgeous, lush colors of burnt amber, burnished orange, brilliant red, and bright yellow leaves, even as that beauty belies the slow and gradual death of those leaves. Winter buries those leaves under the cold, dark blanket of snow and frost. And yet, death brings forth life. Spring bursts forth year after year with jonquils, iris, lilies, and all the beautiful pastels of new life.

If you haven't heard of Ravi Zacharius before he is an amazing man with an amazing story. I was introduced to his work some time last year by my good friend Trent.

Ravi has a couple of radio broadcasts that are very good. The word of God can appeal to us in so many ways. Ravi appeals through the intellect.

What a week...

This is going to be just some random thoughts from the week....what a week it has been.

The big event this week was that Kathy took and passed the Real Estate Exam. We celebrated Wednesday evening with some grilled steaks, baked potatoes and Mayfield Dairy's Moose Tracks ice cream. I'm so proud of her, she worked hard to get ready for it (she always does). I also bought her some flowers, I didn't realize how long it has been since I bought her flowers.

My work has been very busy. When I started my new job, they were in the middle of a big project, and I've tried my best to jump in and be as much of an asset as possible. Sometimes its hard being the 'NEW GUY'. Developing software is one of those things where is always 15 ways of doing the same thing, the challenge is to find the one way that your client (or employer) considers to be the 'right way'.

Outside of my employment (that still sounds weird), I still support some of my clients that I had before. It seems that this is one of those periods where everybody needs Donnie at the same time. The strangest thing is that my hands are physically tired from all the typing. I guess blogging adds to that also.

The kids are doing great, Chris is really being challenged with school and football at the same time. Previously, school had been fairly easy for him, he's always done well without working terribly hard. My fear has been that at some point he was going to have to really work at it and he wouldn't know how. So far, he's worked very hard this year and done well. I'm really proud of him.

Sarah is doing very well in school. If you know her now, you might be surprised to know that when she was younger, she was very shy...painfully shy. She's gotten over that. She's cheering for the 5th and 6th grade football team, she sings all the time, and told us this week that she was wanted to audition for the school play. She and Kathy came to my new office a week ago and met some folks there. They wound up asking if she could do a small video segment for the web site that we are working on. She was very excited. They said she was 'vivacious'. I told her that and her question was 'what is vivacious?' She is a 'light bulb', she lights up the room when she walks in.

My truck is in the shop (again), we got a really good deal on it (I promise honey), but there is some sort of problem that is preventing it from passing the emissions test. The mechanic is trying his best to help get it through. So far we've failed 4 times. The emissions testing technician was trying to make me feel better when he told me that he had one guy fail 13 times. We are not there, yet...

I'll close with a oldie but goodie nerd joke that I read this week in Reader's Digest, I had heard it before, but had forgotten it...

A nerd is walking through the woods when a frog hops up and says "If you will kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess and be your girlfriend forever." The nerd picks up the frog, puts it in his pocket, and continues his walk. The frog says "Hey! didn't you hear me? if you will kiss me, I will become a beautiful princess and be your girlfriend forever!" The nerd says "Look, I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!"

What is a baseball worth?

This summer, our church had a yard sale. Someone had donated a whole box of baseballs. The marked price was 2$ each. At some point during the sale, everything was marked down to half price, so they went for $1 each. This week, there was a baseball that sold for $752,467. So, I ask the question again...What is a baseball worth? What is it that makes that ball worth so much more than the ones on the yard sale table? The reason that the second ball is so much more valuable, has nothing to do with the ball itself, the reason that ball is valuable is because it is associated with an event. A once in a lifetime occurence.

There are some people that are blessed with a healthy self esteem. There are many (my self included) that tend to derive their sense of self worth from something external. Some feel valuable because of what they can achieve, some feel valuable because of how they look, some feel valuable because of what they have. I fear that one of satan's very effective tools is to take away whatever it is that we base our value on....the athlete gets hurt, the beauty queen ages, the millionaire loses everything. Then where do you go?

Just like the baseball, our true value has nothing to do with what we can do, what we look like or what we have. Our true value is based on our association with an event, a once in an eternity occurence. To be honest, I don't fully grasp the depth of the sacrifice that was made for me. I do know, however, that the Creator of the universe was desperately searching for Plan B.

For years, I've thought something like this "If you group everybody together, then that group would be worth Jesus dying for". Someone changed my perspective on that when they said "The true power of Jesus' sacrifice comes when you realize that if you were the only person on the planet, he would have done the same thing." I don't know that I've fully come to terms with that, but I'm farther along than I used to be. I guess that's what transformation is all about.

Waxing Gibbous

For some reason, yesterday was a day when all of nature seemed very vivid to me. It was a beautiful sunny day, but even as I was driving down the road that I had driven 1000 times, all of the trees and even each leaf seemed to jump out at me. Last evening, we went to a 5th and 6th grade football game and the moon was big and beautiful. I had my camera so I took some pictures to share. If I remember my 5th grade science (that I took last year), this phase of the moon is called a waxing gibbous.

Through the eyes of a child....

Years ago, I had the distinct pleasure of attending a class taught by Bud Lambert. Bud holds multiple graduate degrees in addition to a Bachelor's Degree in Bible translation. He is truly an intellectual. At the same time, he is one of the most humble men I've ever met. He frequently began his class with a statement like this:

"What we are talking about today are conclusions that I've come to based on my own study and experiences. You should only consider them to be true only if after your own careful study and consideration that you find them to be true."

My point is, I've had no formal Bible education, my interpretation of different verses will likely vary from flawed to dead wrong. This is simply where I am...

More thoughts on Thorn Removal

You think I'd have it down by now, I've been practicing for 30 years.
I should have walked a thousand miles, what am I still doing here?
"Clumsy" -- Chris Rice

I've been thinking about 'thorns' (weaknesses, addictions whatever) and this question came to me:

"If I have an addiction or a weakness and I earnestly pray (like Paul) for God to take it away, Why would a loving God leave it in place?"

I would never presume to know the mind of God, but I have a theory...

Years ago, one of my addictions was smoking. My lovely wife (whose only possible addiction is Diet Mt. Dew) hated smoking and would say "just quit". Sounds easy. I tried to quit for years, and finally did. However, Kathy simply could not relate to the struggle, she had not been there. A few years later, I went to a Bible study. I was the last to leave and the host followed me to the car. Before long we began talking about common struggles. It was an amazing experience to be able to talk to someone who could truly relate. The friendship that started that evening remains to this day.

I believe that our weaknesses may remain so that we can help each other, but also, to help reach out to those who are struggling and don't know the way out. Who is better qualified to reach out to a struggling soul than someone who has been there?

I can remember sitting in Bible classes and hearing Matthew 5:48 "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." and thinking, "I can't be perfect, but I can hide my imperfections." As I've grown, I think that by hiding my imperfections, I've failed to help someone that I could have helped, or I've failed to reach out to someone that could have been reached.

Like the blind man in John 9, my weaknesses may be there so that the work of God might be displayed in my life.

His Grace is sufficient. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Comments

A conversation between Kathy and I this morning.....

Donnie: (with a Shirley Temple-esque pouty face) Everybody leaves comments on Amy's blog, why doesn't anybody leave comments on mine?
Kathy: You have to have a Google account to comment on yours.
Donnie: doh!

Some quick research allowed me to find how to open comments to everyone. Comments are welcome and appreciated.

Thorn Removal

Church means so much more to me now than it used to. When I was younger, it was a time to see my friends. During the summer, several people from the youth group would go play minature golf or go to a movie afterwards. It was jumping off place, an obligation. Zoom forward about 20 years. I was a shell of a man, completely empty inside. I can remember it was a struggle to make it through each day and I would tell myself, "If you can just make it to Sunday" or "Just one more day until Bible study". I gained so much strength from Bible study at that time in my life. It was what kept me going.

This past Sunday reminded me of that time in my life. We had a family 'meltdown' trying to get everyone dressed and out the door. I can remember thinking "If we can just make it to Church, everything will be so much better". Well, we made it, and as I expected, by the time we left, everything was ok.

During the sermon, Steve Flatt made a brief reference to II Corinthians 12:7 where the Apostle Paul asks God to remove his "thorn in the flesh". As I've been taught all of my life, he provides a list of possible physical ailments that Paul possibly had. The one that I've heard most often is that Paul's "thorn in the flesh" was poor eyesight. I've never understood that if Paul was dealing with a physical ailment, why God would say "My Grace is sufficient for you" in that passage.

I believe that we all have weaknesses. I know that I do. There are things that satan can put in my path that he knows I'll trip on everytime. Do you have a weakness that you struggle with? Do you feel like you will never get rid of the power of that particular temptation in your life? I believe that Paul had something that he struggled with Romans 7:14-25 seems to make that pretty clear. We don't know what Paul struggled with, but I can certainly identify with the feeling of "what a wretched man I am" whenever I stumble.

So, now let's go back to II Corinthians 12, and consider Paul's weakness to be his "thorn in the flesh". Does the passage make more sense? God says "My Grace is sufficient for you" and "My strength is made perfect in weakness". To me, these thoughts are so much more powerful than thinking that Paul was asking God to give him 20/20 vision.

Grace

Ever read a Tom Clancy novel? He has this ability to take seemingly unrelated stories and weave them together at the conculsion. While you are reading, the scene changes from one part of the story to the other. About midway through the novel, the stories start to connect to one another and by the end, you can see the whole picture.

I heard a sermon like that Sunday. We had a guest speaker, David Leer from David Lipsomb University. He began by reading the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), and told us that the sermon was about the older brother. The reading of the text was very animated. However, before long, he was talking about how images from the Bible appear in comic strips. (Including one called Lumpy Gravy which I had never heard of)

After about 20 minutes or so, I'm ashamed to admit that I was thinking, "Ok, you need to land this plane", I really wasn't seeing the point. Then, at the very end, he was talking about how the older brother was angry and wouldn't join the party for his younger sibling. And he asked "Would you go to the party?" Then he landed the plane, in my lap, when he said "You would go to the party, because you realize that you didn't earn your grace either". Wow...hit me right between the eyes.

Don't those of us who are Christians feel that since we try to live a good honest life that to some extent we've "earned our grace" while others are receiving a gift that they didn't deserve? Are we the older brother, the Pharisee,or the workers that started at the beginning of the day?

I think these stories are telling us, we haven't earned our grace either. I guess that sermon was better than I thought.

Nerd Update

Though a nerd, I am cooler online.

And I'm thinking about taking up a new hobby....let me know what you think.

Nerd Humor

I saw someone had posted the results of their own nerd test on their blog, so I had to take it. My favorite question showed a picture of a an attractive woman, smiling for the photo. The question said, "What's the first thing you notice?" They had some different options like, her face, her shirt, her hair, then the last option was "Hey, Vulcans don't smile". Sure enough the girl had Vulcan ears from star trek, I guess I lost a lot of nerd points there because I didn't notice that at all.

I also heard a couple of jokes that only the other nerds out there can appreciate:

There's no place like 127.0.0.1
There 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't

If you don't get them, be thankful.

Good Deeds

A quick note: I read a news story about mygooddeed.org. This web site has made a goal of turning 9/11 into a National Day of Service. What a splendid idea.

Security....

Today was my first day as a salaried employee of a company in about 7 years. I can remember when Kathy and I were talking about starting our own business, we talked a lot about security. Security is an interesting thing. The typical viewpoint is, if you work for a large organization, you are secure, if you work for a small company you are less secure, if you work for yourself, you have no security at all. According to that line of thinking, I have more security today than yesterday.

I don't really believe that to be true. I learned over the last 7 years, that the security you feel from working for a large organization is really a false sense of security. Here's an example: during the late nineties computer programmers were in high demand. Everyone needed all the people that they could find to prepare for Y2K. Do you remember that? Well, about 6 months after that, the layoffs started. Everyone had spent all of their budgets on Y2K concerns and their was no money to spend on anything else. I talk to friends now that were out of work for months, some up to a year. I had just started my business at that time and was working on a contract with a large insurance company. I had all the work I could do. I look back at that now and I know it wasn't because of my abilities, it was the work of God.

When I was preparing to start my business, I read the Sermon on the Mount every day for about a month. There were several verses that jumped out at my while I was preparing for the leap into self-employment.


No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!


So, is my family more secure today than yesterday? I don't think so. Security does not come from a company, it comes from God. I know this to be true.

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Update: I read another article about God's Security from RZIM.org (more on these folks later...)
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Connections....

I've been thinking a lot lately about connections...relationships..etc. What is it that makes two people connect? Have you had the experience where you meet someone for the first time and you immediately feel like you've been friends forever? Or conversly, have you met someone and felt like you have absolutely no common ground with the person at all?

If you've been reading, you know I've gone through a bit of a job change lately. I was very fortunate in the fact that I had enough 'side' work, that I didn't have to take the first job that came along, I could be picky. I was truly blessed in that. During the 6 weeks or so that I was actively looking, I talked with countless people on the phone (sorry about the bill, honey) and had several lunches, and a few formal interviews. Within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone new, I could tell if there was a connection or not. One interview, in particular, was a job that I really thought I wanted, but as soon as I sat down for the interview, I knew that I didn't have a connection. It wasn't going to work. Another interview was planned to be one hour long, and lasted two and half hours. That's the job that I decided to take. One observation that I made during this process was that a job interview was more about how well you connected with the interviewer than how well you were suited for the job.

It's not only business relationships, but personal relationships where this happens. I can remember my dating years when I would ask someone out that seemed nice enough, but then realized within 5 minutes of the first date that it is going to a long long evening. On the flip side, I can honestly tell you that I have never experienced anything like the connection that I felt with Kathy on our first date. It took her a while to realize I was the one, but I knew from the first time we went out that this was someone I could spend my life with.

So, why do we connect with some and not with others? It is a puzzle to me. From a spiritual standpoint, I think God puts us where he wants us, and puts us in contact with people for his own purposes. On several occasions, Kathy and I talked about 'what ifs'. We met at Belmont College (now University). She was supposed to go to Vanderbilt, but decided against it. I tell her, and I truly believe, that if she had gone to Vanderilt, God would have found some way to bring us together.

From a purely human standpoint, I think some would say that connections are all about personality types. To a certain extent that may be true. I noticed on my friend John Grant's blog, he had a link to a web site called Bloginality that lets you take a very quick and easy Myers-Briggs personality test. Just in case you are interested I am an INFP (Here's a description of my fractured personality). It's amazing how close these general descriptions are. If you get a chance, take the quiz and leave your type in the comments here. I'd like to know who you are.

Another amazing way I've seen people connect is through experiences. My father left high school during World War II to join the Marines. He fought at Iwo Jima which, if you know anything about WWII history, was one of the bloodiest battles fought. I'm amazed at how he could immediately connect with anyone in the military then and now. After the military, he had a few different jobs, but spent most of his working years as a firefighter. Firefighters have an amazing bond. Putting your life in someone else's hands has a tendency to do that.

To be honest, I don't know what makes us connect. I'm spending a lot of time thinking and studying about it. I've said it in a post before, but I'll say it again. One of the only things that we can take from this life to the next is our relationships...

Odds and Ends Revisited

I have nothing deep to say today, but I do have a few odds and ends that have rattling through my brain....

Luciano Pavarotti died today, I have never been an opera fan, but you had to respect his talent and ability. I also liked his attitude, he didn't seem to take himself too seriously.

The saga of my truck continues, we are still dealing with the 'service engine light' first it was because of the gas cap, this time it was something different, but the guys at D&R Automotive couldn't find anything wrong. The light is out, I've got to drive it a couple of days before I can get the emissions tested. I hope it works this time, my temporary tag is about to expire.

One last vent...during my recent job search, I ate lunch with a lot of recruiters and business people, and it was sometimes interesting to hear people order their food. Have you noticed that instead of saying "I would like to have X, Y and Z" they say "I'm going to DO X, Y and Z"? When did we start "DOING" food? You hear people say "Let's DO lunch"? and that sort of stuff. Is it me, or does that just sound weird?

Today's picture is one I took several years ago. It was one of the first pictures I took with my first digital camera. Like most of my other good pictures, it's a whole lot more about luck, than skill. I hope you enjoy.

Enjoy the ride....

Wow, what a wild few weeks we've had. We've been adjusting to school getting back in session. Chris, especially, has been adjusting to the demands of high school honors classes and high school athletics at the same time. It's a struggle, but it'll sure be something to be proud of when its over. Sarah is a having a blast in the sixth grade and has really started to enjoy cheerleading. Football season has started which means two or three nights per week are tied up in football games.

Kathy has been in classes to get her Real Estate License. She is in her 3rd (and final) week this week. She has done very well and we are all proud of her. My new job is really starting to get busy, I have a big deadline this week. On top of all of that, Chris had two major projects that were due yesterday. One was a leaf collection, the other was a presentation for English. So much for a relaxing holiday weekend.

Sunday, my great-nephew Ian had his fourth birthday party. For the last couple of years, they have set up an inflatable water slide for the kids to play on. This picture is of Ian's cousin Eli. I can't look at it without laughing. I don't know that I've ever seen a more perfect picture of complete and total joy.

Even when its hectic and busy, I think this is where God wants us to be.


Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18