Connections....

I've been thinking a lot lately about connections...relationships..etc. What is it that makes two people connect? Have you had the experience where you meet someone for the first time and you immediately feel like you've been friends forever? Or conversly, have you met someone and felt like you have absolutely no common ground with the person at all?

If you've been reading, you know I've gone through a bit of a job change lately. I was very fortunate in the fact that I had enough 'side' work, that I didn't have to take the first job that came along, I could be picky. I was truly blessed in that. During the 6 weeks or so that I was actively looking, I talked with countless people on the phone (sorry about the bill, honey) and had several lunches, and a few formal interviews. Within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone new, I could tell if there was a connection or not. One interview, in particular, was a job that I really thought I wanted, but as soon as I sat down for the interview, I knew that I didn't have a connection. It wasn't going to work. Another interview was planned to be one hour long, and lasted two and half hours. That's the job that I decided to take. One observation that I made during this process was that a job interview was more about how well you connected with the interviewer than how well you were suited for the job.

It's not only business relationships, but personal relationships where this happens. I can remember my dating years when I would ask someone out that seemed nice enough, but then realized within 5 minutes of the first date that it is going to a long long evening. On the flip side, I can honestly tell you that I have never experienced anything like the connection that I felt with Kathy on our first date. It took her a while to realize I was the one, but I knew from the first time we went out that this was someone I could spend my life with.

So, why do we connect with some and not with others? It is a puzzle to me. From a spiritual standpoint, I think God puts us where he wants us, and puts us in contact with people for his own purposes. On several occasions, Kathy and I talked about 'what ifs'. We met at Belmont College (now University). She was supposed to go to Vanderbilt, but decided against it. I tell her, and I truly believe, that if she had gone to Vanderilt, God would have found some way to bring us together.

From a purely human standpoint, I think some would say that connections are all about personality types. To a certain extent that may be true. I noticed on my friend John Grant's blog, he had a link to a web site called Bloginality that lets you take a very quick and easy Myers-Briggs personality test. Just in case you are interested I am an INFP (Here's a description of my fractured personality). It's amazing how close these general descriptions are. If you get a chance, take the quiz and leave your type in the comments here. I'd like to know who you are.

Another amazing way I've seen people connect is through experiences. My father left high school during World War II to join the Marines. He fought at Iwo Jima which, if you know anything about WWII history, was one of the bloodiest battles fought. I'm amazed at how he could immediately connect with anyone in the military then and now. After the military, he had a few different jobs, but spent most of his working years as a firefighter. Firefighters have an amazing bond. Putting your life in someone else's hands has a tendency to do that.

To be honest, I don't know what makes us connect. I'm spending a lot of time thinking and studying about it. I've said it in a post before, but I'll say it again. One of the only things that we can take from this life to the next is our relationships...